My exciting adventures! (coming soon)

This book was purchased only because the book I really wanted was gone from the shelf of my local Barnes & Noble. Obviously, the title is an attention grabber. Plus I'd seen this book hanging around for years and never bothered to pay it any mind because I was never interested in A) other people's sex lives, B) cannibalism, or C)cannibals who have sex (which could technically fall under category A but let's be real here, cannibals deserve their own special category).

It was screaming at me, this book. Even when I walked away pissed off because the book I really wanted was gone. I kept going back to it. And I was also a bit curious about the author. His name was...well, kind of dorky. Then I remembered back to when I learned the singer of Tool went by his full name: Maynard James Keenan. Not that Tool has anything to do with this author or his book. Or even cannibalism, if you're wondering. I just haven't thought about Maynard in awhile.

So...fine. I opened the book and immediately started to giggle. The contents page alone had me hooked:

Chapter 1
In which the Author expresses some Dissatisfaction with the State of his Life, ponders briefly prior Adventures and Misfortunes, and with the aid of his Beguiling Girlfriend, decides to Quit the Life that is known to him and make forth with all Due Haste for Parts Unknown.

Well, I had to buy it. Especially when I read about Chapter 12 in which J. Maarten Troost finds himself suffering from sea lice and being thrashed about in the ocean surrounded by sharks. Sounds fun!

What I find most interesting is that Troost hails from the DC suburbs, from the Maryland side. That's my side. Which technically makes him my homey. He doesn't necessarily come from the slums of Prince George's County, but close enough. And he did what I never had (and still don't have) the balls to do: his own thing. He packed up his crap and left. Went straight to some South Pacific Island called Kiribati. And me...I waited 'till Dad retired from the Air Force and hitched a free ride to Florida.

What? Everyone ends up in Florida. Eventually.

Troost and I have a few things in common. Or had a few things in common, I should say. We would actually be soulmates if he hadn't run off to fulfill his dream of doing something exciting instead of staying stateside and getting a job, which was totally expected of him once he graduated from college. I'm still sitting around wondering what I'm supposed to do with my life, what kind of career path I should take. Everything that seems attainable sounds so boring.

So instead, I read about other people's exciting adventures. Maybe one day, I'll have my own exciting adventure. But until then, I will read.