Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Ever wanted to know how to make love like a porn star AND be the boss of lunch?

My daughter and I go to the public library alot. She has her own library bag and library card and everything. Apparently, her card (for an minor, obviously) was incorrectly entered into the public library's system and allowed someone (read as not us) to check out a book with the word "PORN" in the title.

After I found this renewal ticket in Elle's library bag, I laughed so hard I hurt myself. Then I showed everyone I know and we all laughed some more. Then I worried about what if someone/not us didn't return the book on time. Did I incur late fees? So I called the library and asked the assistant to look up my daughter's ticket.

"Magic Tree House....blahblahblah...Junie B. Jones...blahblahblah (all, I might add, completely appropriate for her age group)...that's all."

There was no sign of the porn star book. Someone/not us had been a responsible patron and returned the book on time. So I explained to the assistant what had happened and I could tell she was stifling a laugh, probably on the other end of the line shaking her head and thinking, "Oh, lord..." and trying to stay professional. I, on the other hand, was at work and whispering the words "porn star" into the telephone because those two words are not on my list of words to shout out randomly while at work. But, in the end, we just couldn't help ourselves.

Honestly, I haven't looked it up yet. This book. Some coworkers and I were trying to figure out if it is a memoir, a how-to instruction guide, or a lame story about a guy who once banged a porn star and is trying to get rich by selling dirt on her. I'll go look it up now, but before I go - thank you, Jacksonville Public Library, for brightening my day (and, more than likely, somebody else's day, too!).


Beth said...

Oh dear! Lucky you found the receipt and weren't having to explain what a porn star is to your daughter.

The book is Jenna Jameson's memoir I think. I've been meaning to read it myself but then I've been meaning to read a lot of things lately and just haven't gotten around to it!

Chris said...

I think your daughter is more of an advanced reader than you might think! Time to revoke that library card :)

Chris said...

Or, they should combine the two, "How to make love like a porn star in the magic treehouse". Best seller right there.

You've got my wife and I cracking up today.

Laura Lee said...

No, haven't got time to check out that book. I got the Porn-Star for Dummies. Much simpler, tho the pictures are all stick-figures ;p