Friday, June 19, 2009

Real horror movies

The Wizard of Oz was finally being shown on television and my parents made a really big deal about it. We lived in Italy at the time and it was being televised in english. Halle-freakin'-lujah! I don't know how old I was, maybe 5 or 6. Having a pair of red ruby slippers just like Dorothy's suddenly became the priority in my life. My need for these shoes eclipsed my need to own every Strawberry Shortcake character doll ever made (which says alot considering I still have all of my Strawberry Shortcake collectibles). I imagined having a Toto of my very own to haul around in a cute little picnic basket until I saw the horse of another color and then I imagined having one of those instead! Everything was peaceful and serene and hopeful and then, seemingly out of nowhere, I screamed in terror and cried and cried and cried (I was a big crybaby as a child but I totally outdid myself with this one) and cried and cried at the sight of flying monkeys.

And after talking to a few people at work, I discovered I'm not the only one who was completely freaked out by those things! Seriously, it was years before I attempted to watch The Wizard of Oz for a second time. I was successful but the experience left me scarred.

Here are a few other films that left my childhood brain saying, "WTF!!!":

Nightmare on Elm Street
How old was I? 9, 10?...old enough to have listened to my mother. But, noooOOOooo, I just had to watch it! The scene in which the bodybag is trailing blood through the halls of the high school should have been my first clue. But because I was a well-behaved Girl Scout who decided to rebel by sneaking in some HBO late at night, I continued to watch good-looking teenagers (Johnny *GASP!* Depp) get chased and slashed before I fell asleep. The result? I refused to take a bath with the door closed for months. Y'know, in case Freddie's knifey-fingers came up to the surface. Another result? My mother's infamous, "I told you so."
Nightmare Elm Pictures, Images and Photos
(the only thing worse than this would be sharing the bathtub with a sloth)

I don't remember much about this movie except my parents telling me it was a true story. We lived in Upper Michigan at the time (anyone ever heard of Gwinn? Marquette? Didn't think so...) and our big stores were Shopko and Woolworth's. My brother and I would head directly for the toy aisle while our parents did their shopping, just like Adam Walsh did. I mean, it was the mid-80s. In Marquette, Michigan. People in Michigan don't even know the town exists and I'm sure the crime rate is still low and virtually non-existent. However, this is when kidnappings became real to me and I was introduced to the fact that people kill young, innocent children. For fun. It still gives me chills.

The Blue Lagoon
Okay. If you're a woman, you might laugh at this. If you're a man, you'll never understand it so don't even try. Remember that scene in which Brooke Shields discovers blood? Coming from her hoohah? This is the scary part I'm talking about! I was watching this at a friend's house when I was 8 years old.
"Did she cut herself?", my friend asked her mother.
"No, she didn't cut herself. But that happens to all girls when they grow up. It'll happen to both of you one day!"
And this was all I knew about becoming a woman. That I would someday be in a lagoon with a cute boy and start bleeding. Thank goodness I developed boobs early and started asking some questions.

1 comment:

Chris said...

Not quite "The Blue Lagoon" but we did watch "Superbad" (dance scene) last night;)