Tuesday, February 3, 2009

O(prah), no you di-int!*

*(ok, I can say it, but I can't really spell it)

Oprah, you better make sure those hands don't get any closer to my throat!

When I heard that Oprah Winfrey's show today was going to be about teaching regular Americans how to live off of what is left of a family's once-comfortable/possibly non-existent budget, I LMAO!

Why? Let's think here, people: I'm not going to take tax advice Tom Daschle or child-rearing advice from Jeanna (the non-blonde Orange County housewife whose son threatened to beat her with a bat for showing up in support of his baseball game), so why in the world should I take advice on how to budget/coupon shop/live on $5 a day from the RICHEST WOMAN IN THE FREE WORLD? Especially when all of us po' folk are helping her make her millions just by watching her show today. Is this not exploitation? I also wouldn't be surprised if Oprah's male viewership begins to increase due to the millions of unemployed/laid off manworkers in this country. Trust me, if Oprah can convince James Frey to re-appear on the show and take all the blame for duping the public about the truthfulness of his book A Million Little Pieces, I am certain that Oprah can convince the hordes of unemployed men in America to (and, no, these are not bad things to consider) help out around the house (even though O has "help"), cook family meals (even though O has a "personal chef"), take care of the kids (even though O has "cocker spaniels who are privately driven to doggie daycare"), and, in a nutshell, become the most powerful woman in the world.

Watch out, Michelle. Oprah got your man elected! There is no clause in that contract about keeping you around. Oprah was the first black First Lady. She doesn't need to be married to hold that title. Ain't that right, Stedman?

Anyway, I think it's obvious how much I dislike Oprah. Sure, she does nice things for people. Like her little gift-giving extravaganzas during which she shoves expensive electronics into the hands of very well-dressed/well-groomed white women who look like they could afford that shit with or without Oprah's "handout". And offering $2 million to the crazy baby-factory mom in Bellflower, California to appear on her show? Ok, I get it - yes, that mother needs help. But, honestly, I think it would be more useful and humane if it was of the psychological kind.

Oprah, you lost my respect a few years ago. During your show about race relations, to be exact. I have a specific moment from your show replaying in my head right now in which you asked a white woman (the representative of your highest percentage of viewership) how she felt about the racial progress in America. White Lady talked for a good 3-4 minutes. Then you asked this question to a black man (the representative of your lowest percentage of viewership): "Do you feel that your opinions on race, as a black male, are given the same attention?" Black Man started to answer when you cut him off. He should have started screaming, "Biiiitch, I'm still talking!!!" and put you in your place. But you would have probably just cut him off again!

My point was proven by you right then and there. The White Lady watching your show from home didn't care what Black Man had to say. And neither did you (or are you going to blame a producer for editing? Wait, you ARE the producer!). Well, I'm sure you can convince Gayle to take the blame. She does everything else for you.

This is just my opinion of Oprah. I know she has done some wonderful things and has made the world a better place. But she is rich, powerful, a fan of Tom Cruise, and has world leaders eating out of the palm of her hand.

Oprah is not one of us.

*(As I am too lazy to research the accuracy of the above-mentioned "facts", I would so decline any offer to appear on Oprah's show unless any such offer was made prior to the discovery of any above-mentioned "facts" to be false. Thank you, James Frey, for at least making Oprah appear less like a SuperHumanWomanToBeWorshipped and more like a woman who let her ego get ahead of her and has since learned from her mistake. Er...her producer's mistake.)


Sra said...

I admit I haven't watch Oprah in many years, but back when I did semi-regularly watch, I always liked her. And I actually remember her saying on one of her shows how one thing she learned in her experience having a TV show and becoming one of the richest people in America, is that it is important to still be mindful of what is happening with your money. I thought that was a wise thing to say. So maybe she can credibly counsel America on money, who knows?

So I actually don't dislike Oprah, even though I find several of the things you wrote humorous (Tom Cruise -- ha ha ha!). In fact, I probably like her just fine.

As for the race relations incident, I think you are drawing a broad generalization from a single moment. I mean, she could have dismissed the guy cause he's a man, and not because he's black. Or maybe she didn't do it because of any laden prejudice at all. Maybe if she saw the video, she would be appalled at how she cut him off. Maybe she didn't realize what she had done.

But anyway, I think it is clear that Oprah supports the advancement of black people, based on the totality of her actions over the years.

Chris said...

I don't get "Oprah". I mean she seems nice and seems to do a good job on her show, but I just don't get the massive following.

Geekzilla said...

I don't have an affinity for Oprah either, but we ought to watch what we say, as she has become "unleashed" since the November election. Perhaps "unhinged" is a better word. Yikes.

Dena said...

In no way did I mean to sound as though I think Oprah is not a good human being. I think she has done incredible things for thousands, if not millions, of people around the world. I guess I agree with Chris - I don't understand the massive following. But it just irks me to see so many average, everyday people fall to her feet while she spews her blah-blah-blah about how to be more average and everyday-ish.

Nope. Not a fan.

Ann said...

She totally wants Barack.

I don't know, Dena... I kind of think taking financial advice from a mega rich, self made -black- woman- (that would, statistically, be considered two strikes) isn't such a bad idea.

*In NO way am I an Oprah Groupie. Just had to clarify.
(Totally in the closet).