Rodney Yee makes me cry

For my birthday, I asked for a Rodney Yee yoga DVD. I know there are a bazillion yoga DVDs to choose from and that it probably doesn't matter whose DVD you have when you're just beginning, but let's face it - the guy is HOT.



Years ago, my friend Wendy and I used to meet up every Wednesday night for yoga night. We'd spend the first hour or so huffing and puffing our way through Rodney Yee's Flexibility VHS tape. The second hour was Recovery Hour which we spent on the couch watching John Cusack films and stuffing our faces with pizza. Or tacos. Whichever. We did fondue night once, too. It's obvious that we weren't in it for the reasons most people are in it for. We just wanted something fun to do and that's what we did.

This was before my Mommy Years. I recently picked up yoga again when I quit smoking last summer. I needed something to help pull the stress out of me once I noticed how the tensed-up muscles tightened until they came close to snapping. Kickboxing was too expensive and too physical. And since I have a bad back, I needed something that was soothing but that would kick my ass at the same time. This, technically, amounts to any activity requiring movement. So I chose yoga. And I chose Rodney. Because the man is delicious. Here, look again:



And then I got lazy for a few months. Until tonight.

Elle wanted to do some yoga with me. She's in gymnastics and can do all kinds of stretchy things with her young, limber body, but she'd like to be able to one day do the splits. I was in gymnastics once upon a time and would like to be able to one day touch my toes again without groaning. Same rainbow, different pot o' gold. I slid the new DVD in my laptop and placed it on the floor. Elle was all giggly because she's been wanting to do this yoga thing for quite some time. She liked the soothing water sounds and how Rodney Yee looks like our friend, Daniel. And she likes that Rodney Yee does his yoga at the beach.

And she likes how Mommy says, "What the shit is he doing!? I can't do that!", while grimacing because Mommy's hamstring just snapped in half and her face is turning purple because being in the downward dog position cuts off circulation to Mommy's head. Elle also thinks it's funny that I have to say "Oh my god!" every time I collapse onto the floor in a heap of sore muscles and oxygen deprivation because...well, yoga hurts when you haven't done a lick of exercise in...say, six months! After I found my way back up to a standing position, I decided I was tired of being laughed at and sent the kid to bed, where she continued to poke fun at me about how I was constantly falling over during the Centering chapter.

Believe it or not, after I read Elle her bedtime story, I came back and tried one more chapter. It was called Surrender and I honestly thought it would be the chapter during which I could be flat on my back on a mat and just do leg work, because that's easy! Man, was I wrong. At least, I think I was. The chapter started with him in some sideways pose with his legs facing one way, his chest facing the other, and his hand and face upward.

Ha! You're crazy. Eject.

My back is still tingly and my right leg is wobbly. But oxygen has found its way back to my brain. And Elle has finally stopped laughing at me.